Just a couple more days to go for my wife, who is a teacher… Just a week to go for my boys, including a few pointless half days… School is just about OUT FOR SUMMER! Although I still go to work, a household including 3 people without daily responsibilities has its merits: no complaints about tests, no reminders about homework, no disrespectful kids other than our own. In honor of the final days of school, which may have come already for some of you in other parts of the country, let us count the ways we are fed up with school…in song. LAST MAN STANDING: Not just any old song about school, no, we’re talking songs about being sick of school!
Let’s play Rock ‘n Roll General Managers, shall we? You are the GM of The Beatles or The Rolling Stones. Your mission is to put together a trade with your respected and beloved rival band that benefits both bands. It can be a one-for-one trade or a multi-musician deal. The bands can even trade trademark songs. As Rock ‘n Roll Fantasy League Commissioner, I may even approve a 3-band deal, involving personnel from one of the other big British Invasion bands. My role in these decisions, of course, will be guided by the Best Interests of the Game.
Although longtime friendly rivals, The Beatles and The Stones do not have a long record of musician transactions. The lads from Liverpool did help launch the career of the the scruffy London upstarts by dealing them “I Wanna Be Your Man” to for future considerations. John Lennon and Keith Richard barnstormed in The Dirty Mac. Brian Jones took batting practice with The Beatles’ on a silly B-side. Art dealer Robert Fraser shows up in the biographies of both bands. I believe a young American photographer named Linda Eastman was scouted by The Stones before landing in Paul McCartney’s pad. Billy Preston is probably the one musician closely identified with both bands. Therefore, Preston is NOT eligible for any trade between these bands. Regarding another man closely identified with both bands, The Stones have already declared “No trade-backs!” on Allen Klein.
Stones’ GMs may trade from their band’s full array of “other” guitarists along with dedicated sidemen, like Ian Stewart and Bobby Keys. Stones’ wives and longtime lovers are not untouchable. Even outright hangers-on, such as drug dealer “Spanish Tony” Sanchez, are in play. Likewise, Beatles’ GMs may select from their deep roster of engineers, sidemen, wives, hangers-on, and hagiographers.
On the drive into work this morning it occurred to me that the English like writing songs involving “chips,” or French fries to us, if my UK-to-US English converter app is functioning properly. I quickly thought of 3 songs from the late-’70s that center around chips. I bet there are a lot more than 3 songs involving chips.
For purposes of this Last Man Standing, songs about either kind of chips will be accepted: the English chips (ie, fries) or what Americans typically think of as chips (ie, potato chips). However, songs specifically mentioning “fries” will NOT be accepted. Fries may go with that shake, but they do not go with this thread. The lyric must be “chips.”
One other exception: songs mentioning some supposedly healthy chips, like baked kale chips, will NOT be eligible.
A recent Rolling Stone feature on The Rolling Stones featured the 8,456,201st telling of what may be the oldest story in the book of rock: the rapprochement of the Glimmer Twins, Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. In my rock magazine-reading lifetime, these articles date back to the release of Some Girls. I wouldn’t be surprised if this story extends back a few album releases/tours earlier. The reasons for the divide shift slightly from personal/artistic- to personal/business-rooted interests as the years pass, but the narrative always drives at the same conclusions: Divided, the Stones give us the New Barbarians/X-Pensive Winos and Mick Jagger solo albums; united, the treat us to another greatest hits package, a world tour, and whatever new dirt can be scraped from surviving band members’ yellowing fingernails. For this, we give thanks and praise.
Is there an older, more frequently told story in rock than the rapprochement of Keef and Mick, and all the mixed emotions their union represents to rock’s core values?
In an effort to restart the free-flowing, positive chatter for which Rock Town Hall is known, let’s see if we can not only celebrate what’s GOOD in our musical lives; let’s also celebrate what’s BETTER!
I’ll tell you what: let’s take yet another step forward and identify what’s BEST of all in any given musical category.
I’ll throw out a couple of categories for starters, upon which we can build in GOOD-BETTER-BEST fashion, then you take it from there. But first an example:
Brothers and sisters, next time you get pissed at your brother or sister, pull up this clip and see if you can make it past the 2:26 mark without getting some perspective.
If that don’t work, try dusting off your Hummel figurines while playing a Gentle Giant album.