Sep 132013

Courtesy of Townsman Oats

Flo Rida presents…THE FUTURE OF MUSIC!

Combining theramin technology, white-folk hip-hop envy, masturbation, and laser beams, Beamz by Flo is an interactive music product that enables anyone to make music by moving your hands through laser beams with pre-programmed songs. Each interactive song has a background rhythm track which you start by pressing the play button on the Beamz controller; then each laser beam is setup to be a different instrument or sound effect. As you move your hand through a laser beam, you’re adding that instrument into the playback of the song. The Beamz controller lights up 4 red laser beams, and each song has up to 12 different instruments for you to add into the playback of the song so there’s lots of options for you to get creative making the music. The center button is a SWAP button for you to switch over to other instruments while you’re playing a song. Beamz also includes a recording feature so you can capture your remixes to playback for yourself or to share with your friends.

If you’re using the Beamz with an iPad, iPhone or MAC computer, you may purchase additional songs within the application itself — click on Settings, then select Buy More Songs to see a list of individual songs and song bundles available. Bundles are the best value, providing discounts up to 50% off vs. purchasing additional individual songs.

Beamz by Flo works with iPhone 4S, iPhone 5, iPad Mini and iPad 3rd generation models or later running iOS 6.0 or later.

Songs included:

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Sep 022013


An interesting note in Philadelphia Inquirer writer Dan DeLuca’s recap of Philadelphia’s recent Made in America music festival centered around female concertgoers’ right to sit atop their boyfriends’ shoulders. DeLuca mentions the following act of vigilance by Josh Homme during the set by Queens of the Stone Age:

The Josh Homme-fronted QOTSA sported a roaring, wildcat guitar sound, Homme isn’t a typical headbanger. He slowed down on moody “The Vampyre Of Time and Memory” and slinky “Make It Wit Chu,” during which he yelled at security for making a woman get off her boyfriend’s shoulders. “Take the rule book and shove it … would you? This is Philadelphia, we know how to have a good time!”

Right on, Josh Homme for sticking it to L’Homme! For this act, we award you the Prestigious Rock Badge of Courage. Take away female concertgoers’ right to sit atop their boyfriends’ shoulders and you take away the right for the audience to get a peak at some potentially bare breasts!

Aug 272013
Thicke one!

Thicke one!

I fully support Miley Cyrus’ right to shake her booty and creep people out. You asked for it, America. Don’t act so surprised. (Or did they?!?!)

I love this quote from Robin Thicke’s mom—that’s right, the mother of the guy pretending to ram it up young Miley’s ass:

“I don’t understand what Miley Cyrus is trying to do,” the former Days of Our Lives actress said. “I think she’s misbegotten in this attempt of hers. And I think it was not beneficial.”

Don’t you know that it’s different for guys

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Jun 282013
Philadelphia Ukulele Orchestra, featuring cdm (smiling debonairly at left side of fez-wearing member at top center) and chickenfrank (middle row, center, sporting W.B. Mason Look).

Philadelphia Ukulele Orchestra, featuring cdm (smiling debonairly at left side of fez-wearing member at top center) and chickenfrank (middle row, center, sporting W.B. Mason Look).

I have been remiss in thoroughly touting and covering the Philadelphia Ukulele Orchestra, the brainchild of our very own Townsman cdm. The band also features chickenfrank and, possibly, others who check into the Halls of Rock on occasion. Thankfully, the Philadelphia Inquirer is on the case!

To listen to a recording of the magical Philadelphia Ukulele Orchestra is one thing. Its eponymously titled CD is a delightful Tin Pan Alley soundtrack to a make-believe movie filled with billing, cooing, and courting.

To listen in a live setting is another thing altogether. The orchestra is an awesome force to behold: 12 men and women, without camp or irony, wearing smoking jackets and fezzes while strumming and plucking their delicate instruments and crooning the most playful of early pop songs.

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This CD has been on permanent rotation in our kitchen since its release. Mrs. Moderator has whipped up dozens of amazing meals for both the family and dinner/party guests while singing along. Highly recommended!

Feb 212013

Earlier today our your friend and mine saturnismine hi-jacked my Facebook page to ask why he was unable to post the following image here in the Halls of Rock. Then another old friend, dbuskirk, took this opportunity to pile on, insulting our entire community with the following snide remark:

The Brain Police forbid The Dream Police.

I was hurt. Before I had a chance to look into sat’s sincere question dbuskirk has to shame me on my very own Facebook page. A lot of my inner self is expressed there. Here, in the Halls of Rock, you may fire away at me. Here, you will find the Public Me. On Facebook I bitch and moan about my favorite sports teams and the annoyance of seeing Lena Dunham pop up on every magazine and interview show I check out. That’s deep shit, man, and I don’t need to have my RTH moderation skills attacked in that forum!

As a show of just how big a man I am, the image that saturnismine wants you to see follows…after the jump!

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Jan 282013

My Bloody Valentine collect an award for their album Loveless in 2008

Honestly, what are the chances? I’ve been asking this question of My Bloody Valentine for some 22 years now. I love everything Kevin Shields has ever touched, but seriously, the man has a skewed sense of time. Brian Wilson comes off with a train conductor’s punctuality compared to this.

Pitchfork has been claiming that MBV have the follow-up to Loveless in the can, and today they report that they have a video of a new song, and that Shields promises a new record “in two or three days.”

The video has apparently been revoked already.

Realistically, folks, should we look for this on Tuesday? Don’t break my heart again.


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