Jul 222015


I cracked open the gatefold sleeve of my recent purchase of Eric Burdon & War‘s Black Man’s Burdon and was greeted by this NSFW image. I was quickly reminded of a dozen other album covers featuring tasteful (and no-so-tasteful) nude shots, the most obvious being Roxy Music‘s Country Life.* With those 2 entries now out of the way, my guess is that there will easily be another 98 tastefully nude album covers for Rock Town Hall participants to identify, maybe 198 more. Front cover, back cover, and gatefold spread count. Inside record sleeves/CD booklets do not.

What do you say? Feel free to include a link to your entry, and as always, please discipline yourself to one entry per post (although your number of posts is unlimited). Go!

*Regarding the definition of “nudity” for purposes of this thread, although the models on the cover of Country Life are partially clothed and attempt to tastefully covering themselves, enough nipple and pubic hair are left visible to qualify. For purposes of this discussion, a cover showing nothing more than cleavage, side- or under-boob, butt cheeks with thong, or the clothed outline of an erect penis will NOT be considered. On the other hand, fully unclad (head to toe) cover models who tastefully keep their privates private qualify. However, simply tastefully topless (with naughty bits covered) shots will be open to debate.

Apr 052013


If you’ve been following Rock Town Hall for even a couple of weeks you probably have an inkling of my severe distaste for the mainstream culture of the 1980s. If you didn’t live through that era and find it “charming” or whatever, I feel slightly worse for the future of humankind. That’s OK, I’m used to feeling that way. What troubles me is how we got to this point considering how great my generation was and how much greater our parents’ and grandparents’ generations were. If we were so great, shouldn’t the youth of today be better?

If you lived through that era and look back on it fondly, I am not-so-secretly jealous of you. I had a lot of youthful energy and love to give to the world at that time, and for all my exquisite taste I would have been happy to spread my energy and love on a mutually appreciative world, as you may have been able to do back then. Bravo, ’80s Mainstream Culture Beneficiaries!

Many of my associations with the ’80s, then and now, were filtered through my not-always exclusive pursuits of rock ‘n roll and girls, as I was young enough to call them through most of the decade. I desired a mastery of both, yet constantly found myself falling short of the mark. Most of the roadblocks encountered were part of my genetic makeup and/or self-erected. I think of all the poor decisions I made and inflexible stances I took owing to my born and bred stubbornness. I did have good taste, however, and I have no regrets about that. The mainstream culture of the 1980s threw its share of roadblocks at me. Perhaps no cultural artifact was a more daunting roadblock than a copy of Duran Duran‘s Rio placed at the front of a stack of albums in a girl’s dorm room or apartment.

Aug 172012

Pussy Riot

RTH knows best is yet to come. Stay strong #PussyRiot! (Official tweet from Rock Town Hall)

Perhaps the most alarming aspect of the recent Pussy Riot prison sentence that’s rocked Russia is how inept security was at shutting down the lip-synched performance. The London Police Service would have “pulled the plug” on the band in a sober, orderly fashion. Someone should have dialed 999.

On the bright side, artists and celebrities in the West have been provided a golden opportunity to grab some press by tweeting deeply meaningful shows of support. Even DJ Qualls risked backlash from his huge Russian Orthodox following by throwing his weight behind the band.


Oct 162010

Yeah, baby!

Recently, Rock Town Hall’s Erocktica division came across a Carlos Santana sex tape. To our knowledge this is the first public airing of this professionally produced but long-supressed group sex scenario in front of a live audience.

After taking the necessary legal precautions, we feel confident that the following clip is as legitimate as it is sexy. As lovely as you are likely to find this performance, however, it is definitely NSFW. Even on a weekend we only feel comfortable posting it after the jump…

Continue reading »

Apr 282009

Greetings, seekers of the bizarre, the unusual, the extraordinary, and the incredibly cheap! I come to you after a long hiatus to share the results of a particularly fruitful scavenge undertaken this past weekend at the thrift stores around the nation’s grand capitol.

During this excursion, I was lucky to find a small stack of vinyl 45s from Jamaica, obviously from a fan of the early- to mid-period “deejay” era in the development of popular Jamaican music. They’re on extremely weird, poorly printed labels — and a few have no labels at all, substituting instead a hasty crayon scrawl simply saying “DJ,” or (in the case of the most entertaining of the singles I’ve ripped for you tonight) the word “PUSSY.”

Anyhow, the point is, these are some fairly ribald tunes. The density of the Jamaican (in one case, Trinidadian) patois is such that I feel you could safely play any of these at work without fear of prosecution — but they are spicy. So, as part of my ongoing effort to goose traffic statistics for my beloved Rock Town Hall (see easily porn-searchable headline above), I’m attaching them here for all to enjoy.

The first tune is, in my estimation, the best of the lot: a 1974 number by a young Max Romeo, entitled Pussy Watchman. 2000Man may get a particular kompletist kick out of this, as the InterWeb tells me that Romeo sang backup on some tune off of “It’s Only Rock and Roll.” But this is from very early in Romeo’s career, and it’s a good one. Check it out!

Next up, another ribald selection, this time from the extremely obscure 1970s DJ “Charley Ace.” There’s not even a track name listing on the label for this single (though it does sport a monochromatic label saying “SCORPION!”) — but I choose to believe the song is called Do It Same Way, based on the moans and groans of the female lead in the piece. The InterWeb tells me, by the way, that Ace was gunned down on the rough streets of Kingston some time in the 1980s. RIP, Charley.

Last but not least, Trinidadian godfather of “soca” music, Lord Shorty, gives us all explicit direction in The Art Of Making Love. Again, I call 2000Man’s attention to this tune, in which — towards the end there — Lord Shorty gives us some guidelines as to what we might expect from various races as far as their boudoir behaviors are concerned. I immediately smelled a “Some Girls” rat in the mix. But, whether or not Lord Shorty was ripped off by Jagger and company, I strongly urge all basement-dwelling, pasty-faced members of the Hall to heed Lord Shorty’s advice. Dude obviously knows what he’s talking about.

Anyhow, that’s what I got for you this time around. Mod, Backoffice: if nothing else, please let me know how much traffic this effort generates!

Yours sexily,



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